I’ve been hard on myself!……
I used to look in the mirror and be so critical of what I saw.
I was always too small;
I thought I looked weak!
My internal voice was really destructive!
No matter how hard I trained ( Which was so intense to the point I’d be sick, get Diarrhea, migraines, and I’d often fall asleep within 60 seconds of lying down because my blood sugar was so low.
I also used to get nervous before I trained legs, and that happened 3-4x a week for years )
Regardless of my past, self-torture with intense training sessions I felt isolated,
I had low self-confidence and self-worth.
Lifting heavy things made me feel a little better,
the weights never judged me and my strength boosted my ego.
Or so I thought it did!
I tried harder than anyone I knew;
I was proud of that.
But it led me deeper down the self-loathing route and added to the isolation.
To the point, I only had one or two close friends, and they were training partners.
Where did I end up! Well, on my own, lonely and fat
( or as I should be kinder to myself and refer to it as the old big me, all nearly 16 stone of me )
THE POINT IM TRYING TO MAKE:
If you practice self-loathing your going to get pretty good at it.
It will become a condition, A way of being!
I think today’s society compare themselves to much.
People compare themselves to re-touched photos.
Or to someone that competes in fitness shows.
I know some of them and believe me,
most of them aren’t happy with what they see in the mirror.
I’ve met lots of in shape, lean people that binge eat,
get depressed, go mad in the gym and then repeat it all again.
Being strong or training hard didn’t make me the great person I am now 😉
Learning to appreciate me did, don’t get me wrong, its work in progress,
But I’m enjoying the journey!
So make a start in transforming your body by learning to be a little more appreciative of your strengths and potential!
It makes life a whole lot easier!